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COMEDIC RELIEF

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE
EXPERIENCING MENOPAUSE

  • You sell your home heating system at a yard sale
  • The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed.
  • Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family.
  • You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them.
  • You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania".
  • Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  • You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  • The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  • Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  • You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-****."
  • You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
  • You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

JOKES

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q: Why should menopausal women use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they parked your car.
Q: When is a man most likely to complain about the mood swings of his wife in menopause?
A: When she's not present.

THE HISTORY OF MENOPAUSE

1700s- Menstruation was a way for the body to get rid of impurities. So when menstruation ceased during menopause, what was thought to happen was that the blood remained within the body, clotting and stagnating ... The logical solution was the application of leeches — to a woman's genitalia, to her back, or to the nape of her neck, to try and remove this excess blood. The discovery of hormones themselves is a relatively recent concept. In the 1700s, when the earliest written records of menopause are dated, most illnesses were thought to be caused by evil "humours", or body fluids. Along with leeches, plant extracts called emmenagogues may have been prescribed or periodic bloodletting from the arm.

1800s- The term 'menopause' — first used by the French physician, de Gardanne in 1812 — became more widely known; throughout the 1800s, growing interest in anatomy led to a search for the causes of disease not in bodily fluids, but in particular organs. For women, whose most important social role was to have children, the reproductive organs were central. Disorders of the reproductive system were blamed on devoting too much energy to non-reproductive pursuits. Intellectual and sexual urges were discouraged, and doctors strongly advised against sexual activity during and after menopause.

Early 1900s- brought the rising popularity of psychoanalysts, who interpreted the depressive symptoms of menopause as grief for the loss of reproduction and femininity. Scientists were extracting chemical agents from certain tissues and organs which could be shown to have an effect on other parts of the body. These powerful chemicals were called hormones, but their medical uses were as yet unknown. At the turn of the last century, 1900, menopause and death occurred at roughly the same ages, but now the average woman who reaches menopause will live 30 more years.